“Quit worrying!” Trisha tapped on the table to bring me back to my senses. I wish I could stop worrying. I hate the feeling but I just know that I shouldn’t be here. Aside from the fact that we’ve spend a lot of time here, my gut is telling me that something is going to happen. And I am not gonna like it.
I tried to calm myself down. Trisha wasn’t having any trouble at all. She’s eating her chocolate-filled donut with no worries whatsoever. As for me, I’m taking forever with my Mocha Frappuccino.
“Oh my God,” Trisha suddenly said, her eyes fixed on the shop’s door. Her eyes wide open then she glanced at me. And I do not like how she’s looking at me. I sense trouble. The trouble my gut has been telling me about. “Don’t look.”
“What?” Too late. I turned my head and Trisha was right. I never should’ve. Right there, sitting near the door, was the person I’m trying to move on from. Of course. That’s the trouble I’ve been sensing. I’m gonna see him here. And not just that. He’s with someone. He’s with…a girl.
And not just some ‘friend’ girl. I’m pretty sure it’s girlfriend. You don’t actually go googly eyes with someone you’re just friends with. And yes, holding her hand does not count as a friendly gesture as well. How can he be with someone new already? There’s a three-month rule, right? Or am I the only one dwelling on that?
“Stop looking!” Trisha tapped the table again so I turned around. “Let’s go. You were right. We never should’ve gone here.”
I nodded. I was about to stand up but then realized something. He’s right next to the door. It’s impossible for Trisha and me to get out of the shop without him noticing us. Unless maybe we put a paper bag over our heads which is just ridiculous. “He’ll see us.”
“Well, we can’t stay here. The pub opens in a few minutes. We have to leave. Let’s just hope for the best.” Trisha was so calm which was weird because she’s totally uneasy most of the time. She’s trying to be calm for me and I love her for that. She slowly took her bag while her eyes looking at him subtly. I left my drink even if I haven’t had much of it. I lost every urge to take in something right now. It was like my stomach is twisted in knots.
Trisha walked out first, while I slowly followed behind. It was going good. He doesn’t seem to mind. He was so busy talking to the girl he’s with. Good. But then, fate decided to have a say in this. Right when I’m about to reach for the door’s handle, my phone rang. It’s obnoxiously loud and made him turn. When he saw me, his face was shocked to see me. I’m pretty sure I have the same look on my face.
“Marlee,” his voice was soft, much like a whisper, but it was clear enough for me to know that he said my name. And I don’t know why but I felt the butterflies in my stomach. Actually, no. I felt the whole zoo in my stomach.
“Hey,” my voice wasn’t any better either.
He stood up and he’s now just inches from me. I felt my hands start to shake; I had to slip them into my jacket. Trisha went to my side and killed the awkwardness, “Hi! I’m Trisha!”
“Oh, hi.” That broke his stare and looked over to Trisha. Thank God. I don’t think I can last another minute with his eyes boring straight into my soul. “I’m Dan,” then he turned to the girl who appeared to his side. She was smiling. And God, she’s beautiful. “And this is Lilia. She’s my…” he stopped himself and looked at me. He shouldn’t have. Because although he hasn’t said anything on who Lilia is in his life, I felt wounded already.
“Fiancé,” Lilia interjected with a huge grin plastered on her face. The word hung in the air. I couldn’t breathe. She shook hands with Trisha, who is now looking at me quizzically, and then with me. I tried my best to put on the most realistic fake smile I could do. I hope I did well. “So how do you guys know each other?” She wrapped her arm around Dan’s and it felt like a knife was thrown straight to my chest. I felt my heart breaking into million pieces.
“He’s a friend of mine,” I replied quickly. “Actually, he’s the friend of my ex.” Then another fake smile.
“Oh yeah?” Lilia said.
I kept the fake smile on my face. “Yup. See, Dan here was the one who comforted me when I broke up with his friend, who was my ex.” What a liar I am turning into.
“Aww, you sweet little thing!” Lilia said, pinching both of Dan’s cheeks. Seriously, now’s the perfect time for the world to swallow me whole. I really wouldn’t mind.
“He’s really the best, isn’t he?” Lilia said and I tried to nod. “We broke up ages ago, because, well, my stupid mistake of cheating on him. But then, I realized how much I love him. And he was so kind to take me back. And now, we’re getting married!” she finished off, flashing a small ring on her hand with a diamond on it.
I choked up a sob. “Wow, I guess…” I tried to collect my thoughts and fought back the tears. “Destiny. Second Chances.” I couldn’t even come up with a complete and decent sentence. I can’t help but pray for some lightning to stuck me and kill me right now.
“I know!” Lilia squealed. “I mean, at first I don’t believe much about destiny and such but this, us,” Then she rested her head on Dan’s shoulder to prove her point. “This is it.”
“Yeah,” was all I can say. How I wish I could just dissolve into thin air and vanish for all eternity. “It’s nice when you find the one who was meant for you. I think…that’s what everyone wants.” I felt the sadness in my voice. And I think Dan and Trisha felt that, too. Dan just looked at me, like he wanted to hug me but he wasn’t so sure that that’s the right thing to do at the moment. Trisha wrapped her arm around mine so I looked to her and gave her a reassuring smile to let her know I’m fine. I think I’m fine. Well, sort of.
“Have you found him yet?” Lilia just had to ask that, does she?
I felt my heart in my throat and I had to swallow hard before being able to speak.
“I did,” I tried my best to hold back the tears. I have to bow down because I don’t want to let them know this is making me cry. I don’t want them to pity me. “I found him. We were so happy. Planned a future together. We were so in love. He was my destiny. The sad part was…” I looked at Dan and tears were already in my eyes. I blinked and let them fall before saying, “I wasn’t his.”
“Ooookaaayyy,” Trisha interrupted. “That’s enough drama for tonight. Lovely meeting you both. Hate to be rude but we’ve got to go,” Trisha was pulling me towards the door.
“Where are you going?” Dan finally had the balls to say something.
“She’s singing tonight so we gotta run!” Trisha was halfway out the door already. I’m still too fucked up to move a bit faster.
“Where exactly?” Dan asked with so much interest in his voice.
I wiped the tears on my face and said, “It’s a few blocks away from here. The pub by the corner. It’s the only one. You can’t miss it.” I don’t know why I said it. Maybe because I’m hoping he’ll come and see me sing. I’ve always told him that I love singing but I never actually sang for him. And yes, a part of me wants him to be there. I don’t know why but I just do.
Trisha pulled me out of the shop before Dan could even say something. “Pull yourself together. He’s getting married. That’s it. End of the line. Now, let’s go.”
Trisha dragged me through the sidewalk. I stopped crying but I just couldn’t feel anything anymore. I want to go back to the coffee shop. Ask Dan why he’s getting married. Why he was able to replace me that easily when it’s taking all of me to get over him. Trisha opened the door of the pub.
Pull yourself together. I repeated Trisha’s words as I entered the pub. End of the line. But why do I hope that it isn’t?